and it shouldn’t offend you either
If YOU don’t like your body: YOU change it.
If society tells you to change your body: Tell them to go fuck themselves.
Oh hey, let me just file this under absolute bullshit.
Fuck your fat-shaming.
I look way more like the first photo and I don’t drink soda or eat meat.
I’m sorry, is the choice between “soda, meat and real life”, or “water, vegetables and constantly striving to look the way that only photoshop can make you”?
Because fuck you, I’m not going to RISK MY EXISTING HEALTH to try and fit into your twisted media, fat-shamey, women-objectifying, so-called “norm”.
All sizes are beautiful, all people are beautiful, but the way that the media twists the minds of society is UGLY.
I think one of the biggest problems with our society’s obsession with thinness and weight loss is that it causes people to disconnect from their bodies and delay their lives. My sister said once that she felt as though this was not her “real body”, this was not who she “really is”. She said she felt like she was wearing a fat suit she couldn’t take off and it upset her because no one was seeing who she really was. This attitude of right now I’m a “before” and I’m really going to be an “after” meant that she was putting her life on hold until then. This, unfortunately, is not a thought process exclusive to my sister and seems to be pretty widespread.
The disconnect and delay both show up in how we deal with clothing. For example, not buying clothes in size x because that number is too high and planning to buy them when able to fit into a size y. I know this is not exclusive to plus sized women, but I feel as though it is intensified. With clothing especially, because shopping at a store that exclusively carries plus size clothing carries a stigma. So instead of buying clothes that fit well, they may end up wearing something uncomfortable just to feel as though they are “normal”. Not that this is always the sole reason for not wanting to shop at these stores, because we all know the selection is significantly limited in say, a mall setting. And of course if someone chooses to shop in a “normal” size store because they want to and they are proud and confident and don’t give a fuck if someone thinks their clothing is “unflattering”, then that rocks. I’m worried about the women and girls who won’t go into a plus size store out of shame. The women who wear their smaller clothes when they are too tight to sit comfortably and will not buy anything new because they can’t bear seeing the number on the label of a size that would fit. The teen girls that go to the mall with their friends and spend the time searching for the one or two shirts that are XL and pray they don’t run small. They hold their friend’s purses, leave defeated, and eventually stop going at all.
I know of women who put a number of things on hold because they were waiting until they lose weight. Vacations to the beach are on delay because the idea of wearing a swimsuit, or even buying one, is unthinkable. Life events are affected by this. The entire bridal industry sees it as standard and pushes weight loss on brides. Schedule that wedding so that you have enough time to lose that weight, because god forbid you be a fat bride. Even something like joining a gym is put off because there is pressure to look a certain way before you even set foot in one. You will lose weight and work out at home until you are “normal” enough to be acceptable.
Experiencing disconnect with their bodies is very worrisome. People are going to be more likely to engage in potentially harmful methods of weight loss. This disconnect may even possibly develop into Body Dismorphia or an eating disorder. For fat women this is also compounded because of the encouragement received. The term “lifestyle change” tends to be thrown around a lot, and when a fat person engages in activities that would be labeled harmful to a thinner person (starving oneself, extreme amounts of exercise) they are praised for it. The fact that there are people who have to ask if fat women can have anorexia nervosa shows that it’s such a foreign concept to our society that there could be any method of weight loss might be detrimental to the health of a fat person.
We need to be encouraging women to connect themselves to their bodies and to actually go out and live their lives. Touch your body, look at it from every angle. Claim yourself. Think about the wonderful opportunities and experiences you would miss out on if you wait until your body is different. You don’t want to look back at your life and realize that you’ve wasted so much time waiting to be someone else. You cannot put your life on hold until you lose weight.
Shameful confession: I have an OkCupid account.
On this dating site they ask you a bunch of questions, one being, “Can overweight people still be sexy?” My answer is, of course, something like “fuck yeah, duh, obvs, of course, always.” But an alarming amount of people answer, “No.”
I ask every guy who contacts me who answered no to this question about his reply. If they’re not a blatant angry fat-hater (I never get why those guys message me in the first place, hello, did you look at my pics?), they typically say something like, “Oh I mean… I guess they can but like I just don’t find them attractive/want to date them/want to have sexy time with them.”
People are totally allowed to have physical preferences regarding who they’re attracted to. As far as I can remember, I have never kissed a blonde in my life. But do I go around saying, “No blonde person can be sexy?” Of course not! Because attraction and beauty are different things. I’m not gonna go into the likely fatphobia lurking behind the reply from the OkCupid guys (using the blonde example: just because I prefer darker haired folks would I turn down a blonde gal or guy who caught my eye? no, not all blonde people look/are the same, why lump them alllllll together?) because that’s a whole other post for a night when I’m less sleepy, but let’s just acknowledge that just because you don’t want to kiss a person does not mean you can deny them a positive adjective they want to self-identify with. Thinking that someone “being sexy” is all about whether or not you want to have sex with them is hugely egocentric. Just like thinking someone can only “be beautiful” if you wish you looked like them. We need to stop policing people who try to love their bodies and telling them they can be “beautiful” but not “pretty” or “great” but not “sexy.” We need to acknowledge that anyone who wants to be seen as sexy is sexy whether or not we want to hop in bed with them.
There may be preference regarding attraction. But there shouldn’t be preference in regards to who you give a basic level of respect & human decency. There shouldn’t be a preference in who gets to call themselves beautiful because you don’t get to decide how people feel about themselves.
"Thinking that someone “being sexy” is all about whether or not you want to have sex with them is hugely egocentric. Just like thinking someone can only “be beautiful” if you wish you looked like them."
YES. Thank you :)
saved that shit. i NEVER want to look like that. EVER.
Stop hating on other people’s bodies as your motivation. It’s mean and unnecessary. If you really want to lose weight & can’t find a better goal than to bully people/make negative comments about their bodies, try some positivity. It’s a hell of a lot nicer.
Hear hear. Shaming yourself and others gets you nowhere, it only creates a negative downward spiral into self-destruction for everyone involved. Positivity is the key; feeling better about yourself by loving yourself, not hating on others.
So you think female superheroes should be based on female athletes?
There really is no problem with that, if that’s what you actually want. I mean, if you’re drawing a really strong superhero, it makes sense to base her off a really strong real-life athlete. But know that “female athlete” doesn’t always mean thin, doesn’t always mean a tiny, still-within-bounds-of-traditional-female-attractiveness amount of muscle, doesn’t always mean tiny waist. And boobs don’t always “get bigger because they’re pushed outward from muscle gain.” Sometimes the boobs just go away.
If you think female characters should look like athletes, don’t complain when they look like Cheryl Haworth or Dawn Ellerbe, because they are both athletes. But the complaints about female characters who don’t “look” like like athletes very rarely acknowledge this, because it isn’t really the fact that they don’t “look” like athletes that’s the problem. It’s the fact that you don’t want to fuck them.
But for those who really DO want references for different body types of different types of athletes, male and female, here is a really good post where I took the above pictures from, that has TONS more.
I get a lot of questions about having body hair, especially in public. It’s one thing in the winter, I’m told, when we can hide our legs under pants and our pits under sleeves. It’s different now, when you want to wear tank-tops and short dresses! So here is my response and…